


if only

by jewelle



Category: BJ Alex (Webcomic)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - High School, Fix-It of Sorts, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-16
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-03-10 07:09:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,850
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27589340
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jewelle/pseuds/jewelle
Summary: If only Nam Donggyun and Ahn Jiwon had met in high school, maybe they would have less emotional wounds.
Relationships: Ahn Jiwon/Nam Donggyun
Comments: 12
Kudos: 51





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> i know this is basically a nonexistent tag (no idea why when this manhwa is so popular lol) but i reread it yesterday n i loved that scene where jiwon imagines what their lives would be like if the two of them had met in high school n i just really wanted to explore that soooo yeah !
> 
> i don’t think anyone will even read this but whoever does, i hope u enjoy it n if u would maybe wanna see more, please let me know~!

If only Nam Donggyun and Ahn Jiwon had met in high school, maybe they would have less emotional wounds.

Maybe they would have run into each other, their two paths—separate, distinct, so unalike the other, yet so lonely all the same—colliding while they were running away from their own pain, crossing as they tried to escape the grasps of their old pasts.

Jiwon’s legs were longer; he would’ve reached that intersection first, pausing only for a moment to catch his breath, to gather himself where he had carelessly let his perfect mask slip out of place. 

Donggyun was faster, though; he would’ve run as if he couldn’t get out of that hell soon enough, and he would end up at that junction just in time to see Jiwon’s last tear roll down his pretty face.

 _You?_ Donggyun’s swollen eyes would read quietly.

 _You too?_ Jiwon’s bleeding lips would ask in return.

It would be silent, unspoken, a tacit understanding that the two of them were the same, that the two of them had just been broken. It was an understanding that would only come from deep within, born from fractures in the heart that were far too sloppy to be fixed. 

There were cuts slashing across this way and that, so haphazard, as though the person who had inflicted the trauma had simply jabbed their clawed fingers inside their open chests, squeezed that poor, beating heart in their cold, cruel hands like it was nothing more than a plaything, and then, let it go, leaving it torn to shreds, dripping red blood as it desperately hung on the empty shelves of their ribcage. 

Such beautiful hearts, look what had become of them now. 

One wrong move, and it would take their lives. It would take their last strand of sanity, their final breath of hope. It would take the only bit of strength they had left to keep going, the only thing that was still holding them together. They had already lost everything else; they couldn’t risk losing this too, right?

They couldn’t, they _shouldn’t,_ but they shouldn’t have done a lot of things before, yet they’d done them all anyway. They were damaged beyond repair anyway, so would it really make a difference if they decided to give it all up here?

 _No, not here,_ Donggyun would’ve thought. If they were going to bare their hearts, to lay their crippled souls to rest, they should at least do it somewhere better.

But Jiwon would wonder, _Do we deserve better?_

 _We deserve the best,_ Donggyun would’ve told him, and for the first time that day, he would smile. His tears would spill again, but he’d still smile. He wanted to smile. _We’ve suffered this much, isn’t it okay to want more for once?_

Jiwon wouldn’t know. He had resigned to always being second best, to never getting the better end of the deal, so he wouldn’t know what it was like to give himself more than that. He wouldn’t know, but right then, what he did know was that, when Donggyun smiled, he wanted to smile too. 

Maybe, then, they would find themselves sitting side by side on a pair of rusty swings in an equally rusty park, and maybe it would become a halfway point, a little piece of land that they could call their own, where they could always meet in the middle. 

_Always?_

Would they meet again?

Wouldn’t this be their last stop?

Weren’t they going to end it right here?

 _That’s a question for later,_ they would agree, looking away and coughing into their shoulders to hide the newfound eagerness that tugged at the corners of their still smiling lips. Neither of them would know it yet, but they were both selfishly anticipating another encounter, another opportunity, another shot at life, as if they hadn’t just walked up to Death’s door themselves. How feeble their wills were.

“I found my boyfriend—no, _ex-_ boyfriend—cheating on me with some other guy at a club,” Jiwon would say first, breaking the layer of silence that had built between their two seats. 

In the commotion following his breakup, if you could even call it that, he wouldn’t have had time to retreat into his brick walls just yet, still foolishly honest, still stupidly hoping that someone would hear him out when he said, “I asked him how he could do that to me, how he could ever even bear to _think_ about someone else after how much I loved him, after how much he loved me too, and do you know what he said to me then?”

Donggyun could guess, but he wouldn’t dare say anything. 

“He said that he had never loved me, that he was only playing with me, that he had actually been after my brother, my perfect fucking brother who already had everything in the world and more, but in the end, he thought it’d be more fun to toy around with me instead…” 

Jiwon would realise then, saying it all out loud, just how idiotic he had been. How could he not have seen through it? How could he have been so blind? How could he have ever thought that this person had truly wanted him? 

He would realise it, and he would laugh. He would laugh, laugh, laugh, but at some point, his laughter would turn into wretched sobs, wracking his frame in shudders that came down so hard the metal chains of the swings would rattle in protest with him. 

And Donggyun wouldn’t know what to do. He had never been one to comfort others; no one ever needed him to, no one ever wanted him to either. All he could do was reach out to hold Jiwon’s shaking hand, and hope that it would be enough.

“I had a crush on my best friend,” Donggyun would say once Jiwon had calmed down, still holding onto his hand as though he was the one who needed comfort now. “I–I don’t know if it was love, like yours had been, but I liked him. I really liked him. A–And I knew that it wasn’t… _normal,_ I wasn’t expecting anything out of it anyway, so I tried my best to hide it. I guess it just turned out that I wasn’t as good at hiding as I thought I was.”

Jiwon wouldn’t say anything, but his fingers would grip Donggyun a little tighter then.

“Rumours had spread. You know what it’s like in high school. These people, they… they’re vicious, ruthless, but still, I never thought that _he—_ Of all people, he was the one who started the rumours, that friend I liked so much, and when I went to ask him what was going on, he just looked down at me, staring at me with this pure, absolute disgust on his face, and he said, ‘You’re gay, right?’”

Donggyun’s voice would break on those last few words, an admission of guilt, and he would wonder what he had done that was so wrong. Was it so wrong to like someone? Was it so wrong to be by their side? Was it so wrong to want, to yearn, to long for something that could never be his?

He wanted to know—was it so wrong to be the way he was? Deep down, he knew the answer, the truth that the world wanted him to believe, and this reality would shatter him completely, forcing him to the muddy ground in waves of wailing that would drown his own reason out.

And Jiwon would know what to do then. He had never comforted anyone either, nor had anyone ever cared enough to comfort him; no one but Donggyun. No one but Donggyun had held onto him the way he did, so Jiwon would do the same. He would reach out to hold the trembling Donggyun in his arms, and he would know that it was enough. 

For the two of them, this was enough. 

Maybe they would stay like that for hours. Maybe they would be there long enough for the sky to go dark, for their legs to go numb, for the cold of the night to dry the tears stained on their cheeks.

And maybe, like they were supposed to, they would say goodbye. 

They had confessed their sins, they had released their grievances, and now, they would bury those tainted parts of themselves in the same spot that they had just held each other; leaving them behind to be forgotten, to be forgiven.

But, then again, maybe they wouldn’t. 

Maybe, when their eyes met in the dark, when the flickering streetlights reflected their smiles from before in the shadows of their hopeful gazes, they would both say—

“Can I see you again?”

And maybe, like they were supposed to, they would have to say goodbye, after all, but only with the promise to come back, to meet here, to run towards each other instead of running away.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> haha
> 
> its me again
> 
> not sure how i should feel about the fact that the bj alex tag has literally Not changed since i posted last.. but !! for such a desolate tag i was rlly surprised to see so many ppl reading this (or perhaps the same ppl reading multiple times ??) either way it made me super happy so i thought why not pick this up again hehe
> 
> i actually wrote out the first few paragraphs of this like.. almost immediately after i posted the first chap but then i got caught up writing other things sowwy TT i’ve been working on it a lot these days tho n have thought a lot more about where i can take this story so !!! exciting !!!!! 
> 
> jw might seem _slightly_ ooc at times, but please bear in mind that this is set right after his break up, so he’s still (1) fresh out of high school n (2) not getting involved in fights or sleeping around like it was mentioned in canon n (3) not enlisted yet either! also, here, they start out as friends; not as fuck buddies or as streamer/viewer, which i feel like is where most of jw’s negative attitude towards dg came from in the first place... so, in other words, it leans more towards jw’s personality after he n dg got together in canon
> 
> anyway! this chapter is much longer (n a lot less poetic lol) n we get to see jw n dg’s relationship grow more so i hope u all like it! 
> 
> happy early valentines n please enjoy! <3

_Can I see you again?_

That was what they had promised, whispered across pinkies wrapped tight around the other’s, repeated under breaths as they turned their backs and walked away, but would either of them fulfill it?

Maybe they would, or maybe Jiwon would regret it. 

After all, this person was a stranger. If even his own friends, his own family, his own _lover_ could cast him aside without a second glance—why should this person, who didn’t even know his name, care enough about him to come back?

Why would he? Because they were the same? Because they were both alone? 

There was a reason why they were alone, and there was a reason why they would continue to stay that way. 

_How silly,_ Jiwon would think as he returned to his empty apartment, as he laid in his cold bed. _That boy is never going to come back._

But maybe Donggyun would, or maybe he, too, would regret it.

He knew what kind of person he was. He was awkward, unsociable, he didn’t know how to act around others, let alone someone he’d only met once, so why would this person, who didn’t even know his name, want to see him again?

Why would he? Because they were the same? Because they were both lonely?

There was a reason why they were lonely, and there was a reason why they would continue to stay that way. 

They hadn’t agreed on a time, or a day, nor had they exchanged any sort of contact information, so even if they wanted to, _if,_ how would they know when to meet?

Would they pass by the park on the way home from school, staring at the empty swing set in hopes that there would be someone waiting for them there? 

Would they come down to take a peek later at night, just in case that person was late, just in case they had been busy, just in case they still wanted to come?

Or would they be too afraid to even go near, too afraid to be disappointed, too afraid that, this time, if they went, they would really be alone all over again?

Maybe they would both be afraid, so afraid, quietly skulking around the corner, anxiously hanging around the edges, neither of them daring to take that extra step forward, and maybe, this would be where they found each other—wide-eyed gazes colliding, crossing, crashing straight into the other’s, just like that time before.

Maybe it would happen a week later, maybe a month, maybe even a year. Maybe it would happen the very next day. Maybe they just couldn’t wait. Donggyun couldn’t wait. Jiwon couldn’t wait either.

“You came?” Jiwon would ask, and a part of him would wonder if he was dreaming. He wouldn’t be surprised if he was dreaming.

“You too?” Donggyun would ask back, and if this person was a dream, then he was way too real. He was just too fucking real. 

To make sure, Jiwon would hold out a hand. “I–I’m Jiwon.”

“Donggyun,” the dream boy would say, taking Jiwon’s freezing hand into his own, and his touch would be warm, so warm, warm enough to wake Jiwon up, to melt away the ice that had begun to form around his heart like a cage.

Jiwon would know then that he was real. Donggyun was real. Donggyun was here. Donggyun was alive, and Jiwon was still alive too. 

If they were alive, they could keep going. They should keep going. And maybe, they would keep going—together. 

Seasons would come and go, leaves would change and fall, but under the constant shade of the moonlight, Jiwon and Donggyun would still be there, in that same park, on those same swings, side by side, hand in hand.

It was there that they would find out more about each other, all the things they should’ve known before, all the things they wanted to know now. They would find that Jiwon was actually two years older than Donggyun, that he had just graduated high school and was waiting to enroll in university. 

Donggyun would call him ‘hyung’, he should call him ‘hyung’, but he would see Jiwon flinch at the mere sound of the word, as if there was a painful memory behind those letters, so he would quickly swallow it down, flash a sweet smile, and call Jiwon, “ _Sunbae._ ”

Jiwon wouldn’t be as friendly, he was never that friendly, only ever calling Donggyun by his full name, but he would see the brief flicker of sadness in the younger’s eyes each time he did, so every now and again, he would make himself say, “ _…Donggyun-ah._ ”

They would learn that Donggyun had a terrible sweet tooth and a bottomless pit for a stomach, while Jiwon had somehow developed a metabolism rate that was, _well,_ crap. He would wince when Donggyun spoke about all the snacks he wanted to eat; he would roll his eyes when the boy said, “Let’s go and have barbecue sometime, sunbae. I’ll even follow you to work it all off after.”

They would discover that Jiwon had a bad habit of smoking—picked up from that good-for-nothing ex-boyfriend of his, no doubt—and that Donggyun really, really didn’t like the smell of cigarettes. _Would he mind the taste of it?_ Jiwon would think to himself, and then he would wonder why on earth he ever thought of that at all.

And maybe then, after Donggyun started school again, after Jiwon officially became a university student, after their separate schedules didn’t seem to line up anymore, there would come a night where it rained too hard to stay outside, where it would be too cold to just sit there and talk about their days like they were used to. 

_Was this a sign?_

The thought would cross both their minds at the same time. It would wrap around them like an icy wind that carried cruel whispers, reminding them of the terrifying possibility that, perhaps, in the end, they weren’t meant to find each other, they weren’t supposed to be together, they weren’t ever allowed to be happy again— 

_No._

It wasn’t a sign. It wasn’t a possibility. It would be fine. They would be fine. They could see each other tomorrow. They would definitely see each other tomorrow. 

Except, as though it _was_ a bad omen, after all, it would rain again the next day, and the next, and the one after that too.

Donggyun would make a joke of it, texting, “ _Heh, it’s like the universe doesn’t want us to meet on purpose,_ ” because he had Jiwon’s phone number now; because Jiwon had his too.

Jiwon would picture Donggyun’s face as he read that message, that cheery smile of his that didn’t quite reach his eyes, and it would break his damn heart to answer, “ _Haha, I know, right?_ ”

They would leave it at that, because what else was there to say? What else was there to do but wait? They had survived not seeing each other, not _knowing_ each other for almost twenty years of their lives, so surely it wouldn’t hurt them to spend a few days apart now, would it?

That was what they would tell themselves, all while Donggyun tried to ignore the Jiwon-sized hole in the middle of his chest, and Jiwon tried to pretend his fingers didn’t ache to feel Donggyun’s hand wrapped around his.

It wouldn’t last long—another rainy day, perhaps less, and Jiwon would find those fingers of his searching for Donggyun again, unconsciously moving on their own until he heard the click of a phone line, and Donggyun was saying, “Sunbae? Is that you?”

“N–Nam Donggyun?” It was Jiwon who had called, but he would be more surprised by it, nearly hanging up out of shock. “I mean, _Donggyun,_ hey. Hi. What’s up?”

“Nothing much,” Donggyun would answer, and Jiwon would hear the way he was biting back a little laugh, itching to let out a laugh of his own just from the sound of it. “So, um, why did you call, sunbae? You… You’ve never called before.”

That was right. This was their first phone call. They had only ever texted before, and even that was a scarce occurrence… Was Donggyun put off by it? Did he not want Jiwon to call him? Should he just take a hint and end the call now—

“No!” 

It was only when Donggyun’s shout came across the line that Jiwon would realise he had said all that out loud, wanting to drown in embarrassment until the boy told him, “No, I’m glad that you called. I–I was actually wondering if you ever would, and I didn’t have the guts to call you first, so I’m really happy that you did…”

Softer, smaller, Donggyun said, “Thank you, sunbae.”

“Oh.” 

Jiwon fought the grin that was forming on his face, covering his mouth as if he needed to hide it. “No, yeah, that’s– that’s fine, Donggyun. You don’t have to thank me, or anything like that. It’s just… It’s just a phone call, right?”

“Really?” Had this happened about three decades earlier, Donggyun would likely be twirling his finger around the telephone cord, smiling away like it was no one’s business. “Then… If you’d like, it’d be nice if you could call me again sometime. Or if sunbae doesn’t mind, maybe I could call you instead?”

_Ssst—_

There was a sudden surge of emotion in Jiwon’s chest, like a hand had shot up his insides and taken his heart captive. For some reason, he felt like letting it. For some reason, he felt like, just then, Nam Donggyun was really… seriously… _too fucking cute._

“Yeah, I’d like that,” Jiwon would say then, and this time, he wouldn’t try to mask the joy in his voice. “I’ll definitely call you again. You can call me whenever you feel like it too, okay?”

“Okay, sunbae.”

“Okay, Donggyun.”

And so, the two of them would exchange phone calls every other day throughout this neverending rainy spell; short calls, long calls, voice notes too. From hardly ever contacting each other, the frequency steadily bumped up to even two calls a day when the weather in Seoul didn’t seem to improve. 

For a while, it was enough to satiate the longing that each of them swore didn’t exist in their hearts; the strange yearning that had unknowingly grown in each other’s absence.

It was enough, it was enough, it was enough—until it wasn’t anymore.

“I feel like it’s been forever since we saw each other,” Donggyun would complain one night, his muffled voice barely audible against the thunderstorm outside his window. “What if you’ve forgotten what I look like?”

Jiwon would laugh at that, his phone pressed between his ear and shoulder where he was clumsily sending out a last-minute assignment. “No way. I still remember everything about your face, especially those bushy eyebrows of yours.”

“Hey…” A low whine escaped his lips, and Donggyun’s words took on a teasing tone as he said, “Then, what if I’ve forgotten what _you_ look like, sunbae?”

“ _Ha!_ ” Jiwon doubted that; he saw the way Donggyun stared at his face a little too long sometimes, enough to permanently sear the view into his memory, for sure, but he played along anyway. “So, what, you want to video call, or…”

Jiwon was just playing along, Donggyun was just playing around, they were both just playing with each other—

“You wanna come over?”

Donggyun froze in place. Jiwon held his breath.

“…Can I?”

Of course, Jiwon would say yes, he must’ve said yes, because Donggyun would be standing outside his apartment not half an hour later; nose red, cheeks damp, all bundled up in a bright yellow raincoat that wasn’t supposed to look _that_ adorable on an 18-year old boy.

“Hi, Jiwon sunbae!” Donggyun would try to say, only to sneeze right after—twice, at that—and any awkwardness that would’ve come from their overdue reunion was forgotten as a panicked Jiwon ushered him inside in a hurry.

“Shit, are you okay?!” 

Frantic almost, Jiwon stripped him of the dripping raincoat, tossed the umbrella he brought as well, and he dragged Donggyun to the living room, wrapping him up in the thickest blanket he could find in his reach. 

_Warm,_ Donggyun thought. _It feels just like sunbae._

Still rubbing the younger’s arms to share some heat, Jiwon asked, “Did you walk all the way over in this rain? You’re fucking freezing, Donggyun. Why didn’t you just take a cab?” 

Now, Donggyun had a few answers for him, like, ‘I didn’t want my parents to ask too many questions about where I was going,’ or maybe, ‘Oh, I actually wanted to learn the route to your place for future reference,’ or even, ‘You really don’t live that far away from me, so getting a cab would just be a waste of money, you know?’

But after a moment of consideration, what came out of Donggyun’s mouth was: “Sunbae… Are you worried about me?”

Jiwon went still. His hands dropped. He looked away and coughed, “What? No, _ahem,_ not… not particularly… I was just asking casually, you don’t have to answer me, or… _Anyway,_ uh, can I get you something to drink?”

Donggyun narrowed his eyes. “I’m still underage.”

“What? N–No, I wasn’t– I didn’t mean—”

“ _I’m kidding,_ ” Donggyun quickly assured him before this person got too worked up again, and with a sweet, sweet smile that all but melted the elder’s anxious heart, he told Jiwon: “You really don’t have to be so nervous, sunbae. It’s just me… You can take it easy, alright?”

 _Right._ It was just Donggyun. That Donggyun. The Donggyun that Jiwon had been talking on the phone with nearly every day for the past two, three, weeks; the Donggyun he had met up with every night for an entire month prior too. He had no reason to be nervous. Absolutely not.

Jiwon managed a curt nod after a moment, and shoulders relaxing, he asked, “Want some hot chocolate?”

Of course, Donggyun would say yes, he must’ve said yes, because Jiwon would be covered in cocoa powder not a minute later; face caked, mouth gaping, drowning in a big chocolatey mess that wasn’t supposed to look _that_ adorable on a 20-year old man.

“Nam Donggyun, this… I swear I know how to cook, I can make you a meal right now, but I’ve just never…” 

Jiwon would try to fumble up an excuse as to how he ended up in such a situation, only to be cut off by the sound of Donggyun bursting into laughter at the scene, barely able to contain himself as he moved to dust the powder off Jiwon’s cheeks. 

“Sunbae, why’d you offer to make hot chocolate if you didn’t know how?” Donggyun asked, helpless, still holding Jiwon’s face between his palms. “No, no, in the first place, why do you even have hot chocolate here at all? Didn’t you say you can’t have sweet things?”

“Well, isn’t that because you told me _you_ like sweet things—” Jiwon stopped, gulped, realised what he’d just said. “…Ah.”

It took a good second before it clicked for Donggyun, the implication was something he would’ve never even thought of before, but as soon as he came to the same realisation as Jiwon, the boy’s wide-eyed face instantly turned red, the blush spreading all the way down to his neck.

 _That’s… Hold on…_

_…Has sunbae actually been meaning to invite me over?_

Donggyun was sure Jiwon had only asked him to come over on a whim, he’d probably only agreed to it to save Donggyun the embarrassment of being turned down, especially since they’d never met up outside the park, they’d never even made plans to either, but now…

“Um, how about we make tea instead, sunbae?” 

“…Yeah, tea sounds good.”

Sitting shoulder to shoulder on the couch, steaming mugs in their hands, the blanket that had been wrapped around Donggyun was now laid across both their laps. 

Although it felt a little too close for comfort for Jiwon, it was as far as the blanket would stretch, and he wasn’t about to waste time finding another blanket just to stay warm. That was all it was, of course. It wasn’t like he _wanted_ to share with Donggyun or anything, and hey, the kid didn’t seem to mind it either, so…

“Hey,” Jiwon suddenly thought of something, “didn’t your parents say anything about you coming over here like this?”

He knew Donggyun still lived at home, he wasn’t old enough to be staying in a place of his own like Jiwon was, and he certainly wasn’t the type to be thrown out of the house like he had been either. From what he’d heard, Donggyun hadn’t come out to his parents yet too, so Jiwon wondered what he’d told them about him.

“I just said I’d be going over to a friend’s house,” Donggyun explained. “My parents don’t know about what happened at school that time, and most of the guys in that group live in our neighbourhood too, so they didn’t bother asking which one it was. They probably think it’s just…”

“That bastard?” Jiwon heard himself say before he could help it, a short laugh coming up his throat, and he didn’t know why, but he felt irritated all of a sudden. “Fuck, I’m being put in the same category as him now?”

Donggyun put his mug down with a clatter. “What?! No! _No._ N–Not at all, Jiwon sunbae, you’re nothing like him, okay? You’re… Look, you’re not… I mean, we’re not…”

Now, what was Donggyun supposed to say here? He didn’t know the answer. Jiwon didn’t seem to know it either. 

Should he say that they were friends? That wasn’t quite right. They were just strangers who happened to meet in passing; strangers who happened to find comfort in each other’s presence too. But then, should he say that they weren’t friends? That wasn’t right either. Despite their unconventional circumstances, they had all the makings of a good friendship between them, even if neither of them had ever admitted it out loud.

So, after all, what were they? Who was Jiwon to him?

“…You’re different from the others,” Donggyun settled on eventually, and he found that he couldn’t bring himself to meet Jiwon’s gaze right then. “To me, Jiwon sunbae is… _special._ ”

_…Special?_

Jiwon pressed a fist against his mouth, turning away to hide his face, but he felt an unmistakable heat rising to his cheeks already. “Ah, seriously, Nam Donggyun, you… You’re so…”

“S–Sorry!” Donggyun squeaked out, and his head must’ve still been hung low, completely missing Jiwon’s obvious blush. “I said something weird just now, didn’t I?” 

“No, it’s not that, it’s just…” 

Jiwon snuck a glance at him then, and when he saw that the boy was just as flustered as he was, he felt a bit… _relieved?_

Clearing his throat, he shuffled a little closer to Donggyun before quietly, _carefully,_ Jiwon confessed: “…Me too.”

Donggyun’s head slowly lifted. “Huh?”

“To me, too…” Jiwon told him, “You’re special.”

Warmth would burst in Donggyun’s chest then, it would spread out to his limbs, his nerves, his muscles too, and suddenly, his eyes would feel wet. 

“Sunbae, you…” He’d try to cover his tears up with a laugh, but it would come out watery, a small hiccup in his throat when he said, “Thank you. That makes me really happy. And I’m glad that I met you, Jiwon sunbae.”

“Crybaby,” Jiwon would tease, a fond smile on his face that would soon become a fixed expression whenever he was around the boy, and he’d think to himself, _Yeah, I’m glad that I met you too, Nam Donggyun._

With the lightning and thunder as their backdrop, silent storms would begin to rage in Jiwon and Donggyun’s own hearts, hidden emotions slowly being stirred up, up, up before they realised it, and soon, like sudden rain on a sunny day—they would fall.

**Author's Note:**

> contact, updates and info ↓
> 
> 🦋: [twitter](https://twitter.com/jeweIIes)  
> 🐱: [curiouscat](https://curiouscat.qa/jeweIIe)  
> 💌: [carrd](https://jewelles.carrd.co)
> 
> comments + kudos always appreciated! if you’d like to support my work further, please check out my twitter or carrd <3


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